Warning: If you are looking for answers, this is not the post for you

Life truly is a journey. It twists and turns and ties itself in a knot, only to become unraveled when you least expect it. Although we may start with a destination in mind, few of us arrive where we initially intended and if we do, it’s rarely on time. It feels like every day I am reminded in some way of how little control I have over my life. Since I don’t have control, of course I should forget the destination and instead focus on enjoying the journey. Although I agree with that thinking, I’m struggling to make it a reality.

I’m driven by outcomes. I love making plans. I strive for control. While these traits make me damn good at project management, they cause a lot of problems when it comes to navigating life.

I become so concerned with whether my life is taking me in the ‘right’ direction that I forget about the freedom that comes with embracing the unknown. And despite knowing the pitfalls that come with trying to plan your life, I catch myself outlining the chain of events that needs to take place for me to ‘arrive’.

It’s frustrating! Even worse, it’s hypocritical.

What’s going on? Why do I long to control my life? What is so hard about embracing the journey?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer. I think it all comes back to mindset. Am I operating from a place of fear, convinced that things will fall apart if I loosen our grip? Or am I open to life and approaching it with the curiosity and confidence I need to embrace the unknown? The curious path sounds brighter to me, but I’m learning it has a lot more rivers and valleys to cross. It requires trusting yourself, not letting expectations make your decisions, and having the courage to leap just because something feels right.

I’m left without an answer. Is my mindset preventing me from enjoying the journey? If I get more comfortable with embracing the unknown will that help me enjoy today more regularly? Or is the answer really just making sure to stop and smell the roses? I wish I knew.