I’m a fan of personal growth. I had my doubts initially, but I’m seeing the benefits of working on myself. I’ve gained clarity about what’s important to me, confronted a few of my personal demons, and am slowly learning how to stop my brain from dragging me down every rabbit hole it finds.
After 2.5 years, I still feel like a newbie in the personal growth world. I like learning from others, so I read about it quite a bit. One thing I often hear is the importance of believing that you are enough. Brene Brown is an expert in this. She explains how when we doubt our own worth, we open the door to shame which leads to aggression, blame, self-doubt, and a lifetime battle of trying to impress others. We all live with an if/then mentality. A simple thought like “if I buy dinner and give her compliments then she will realize I am a good guy” is dangerous. It’s putting our sense of self-worth in other’s hands.
It sounds cheesy but it’s true. You don’t need more money, to do yoga every day, to eat less donuts, or to be more attractive to be worthy. Right now, at this moment, with all our imperfections – each of us is enough! Realizing that is the easy part. Remembering it every day is incredibly hard.
Here lies the challenge. I know that working on myself has been beneficial and there is plenty of work left to do. I also know it’s important to remember I am already enough. But how do those two ideas co-exist? Is working on myself really an unrealistic pursuit of perfection? And am I truly enough right now even though I have habits, mindsets, and character traits I’m ashamed of?
The obvious answer is that both are important. We must believe we are enough, recognize we have amazing gifts to contribute to the world, and be comfortable in our own skin. Simultaneously, we should make the changes that are important to us. They won’t happen on their own. We must put in the work to make them a reality.
This all sounds good, but how do we make it happen? I wish I could give you a 3-step process to achieving both, but I still struggle to walk the line. I think the answer lies in the pursuit. That embarking on a journey of personal growth is proof we believe in ourselves and our potential. And the progress we make only increases our sense of self-worth.
That’s my theory. I don’t know if its right. I guess time will tell.
What do you think? Do you see tension between the two? Share your thoughts or send me an email. I’d love to hear from you.